I don't understand...

I really dun understand... What's happening? Have i done something very wrong? Why can't I just understand things as they are?

I feel so confuse and helpless... Sometimes, I just want to tell myself to move on and don't care about everything... Can someone please help to explain the situation to me? I know that everything is impermanence and all things changes at one point or another. But sure there are some reasons for the changes right?

I'm feeling so stress for the past month, that I think it is getting out of control already... It's like I can't seem to pull myself from all the things and I feel so suffocating. I just want to get out! Haha, what a easy thing to say rite (escapist? haha...)
Every morning for more than 1 month, without fail, I'll wake up with nausea and a tense body... Next moment, I'll resort to coughing and vomiting in order to make myself better... I really think there's something wrong with me... How come I can't make myself better, even when I've tried very hard to transform my mind and thoughts?

What should I do?

Can someone please tell me?

I have no idea that this could be such a suffering. But I've thought that all these things are up to one's choices and mentality, things are not fix and everything can be resolved and made to improve...

However, why are we thinking so much and letting things go in that direction? Are we making things more complicated by the second? We all have choices rite? I think, those choices which we made, transform who you are and how things happen. Maybe, we should let the conditions to decide ba. But the conditions available are just one component only, you need other elements to combine together too.

What can I do?