Missing someone ?!

I'm missing someone, especially recently...

I
miss all the times that we've together,
miss your 'branded' smiles,
miss the breakfasts, lunches and dinners,
miss everything...

Someone once told me that missing has two types,
one is to miss with positive feelings - longing,
another which bring upon some negative feeling - obsession.

Which type am I in??

Haha, both are undesirable emotions though.

Many a times, I've asked myself why do I feel this way...
But the conclusions varies and I can't really find an answer to that.

::
Today, just today...
Suddenly, a thought came to me,
is it 'ego' that makes me unable to let go?
I can't bear the thought that 'it' is gone just like that?
- only given such a short period of time which I can't even have the chance to espress what I really feel and think to you....
- i'm just unable to accept the truth that 'this' can't work?
- or is it otherwise??

Should I have a serious talk with you?
Let you know what's on my mind,
bridging the broken rapport between us,
allowing understanding to flow seamlessly between us...

I wanna tell you how i feel so badly, yet i'm held back by fears of rejection and doubts.
::

Exams are coming and I've kept reminding myself of that, trying to stay at ease and calm, focusing on my revision.
But in vain...

Nevermind, I'll try again and harder this time,
and maybe this time,
this time,
'it' will pass on,
and I'll be able to move forward with bright smiles greeting every new day!!

Am I being silly here, well, haha, maybe lo...
I'm still stuck with ignorance.. (help me, think i gonna help myself yah..)


-- drowning now --



-- floating soon --



"~ Permanence of Impermanence ~"
"~ All are dependence arising ~"


Gonna reflect and contemplate... ...



(p.s. coz i noe the presence of blog is unknown to you, so at least i'm free to express here, heez :P)