Serching for lOvE...
Searching for Love...
been feeling "cold"... cant really feel the love in myself... dunno whether it's cause of the trauma.. but nonetheless....
So, I went looking and searching for answers....
den i found out that....
... the LOvE tat will not die is ..... Bodhichitta!
Just nice that I came across a tibetan practice which called "Tonglen", which is a "take and give" practice. This allows one to take in the sufferings of other sentient beings into oneself and to release and give out relief and loving kindness and happiness to them back. In this case, the other sentient beings will feel better and more at ease if the practice is done properly.
then I try to do that... ......
Wa..... it's not tat easy yah... U can really feel the pain and suffering inside you again.. engulfing pain... ... ... I'm really scare that after a hard time of settling my mind for while, I would experience that suffering again... But I still try on and hope that I could manage it... However, after talking to some ppl and I realised that I need to be happy 1st myself and to start small... If not, will make me feel more terrible de....
so i pause for while and developing my faith.. (i'll go back to the practice when I'm more ready)
I feel remorse again recently!!
It's the worse kind of negative emotions in our sense...a hindrance in our practice...
...........Why would i feel remorse?.......................
Feeling sorry that I din do a good job? feeling sorry that I was not understanding enuff... not caring enuff... not positive enuff.... ?? (well, who'll care whether I'm feeling like this...)
Shifu said no need to feel that, need to strengthen our heart and mind and not to let those external things affect our mind-state...
The past had past, dun dwell on it, let it go... no point feeling bad thou it's a good effort to reflect...
...................
24th Oct..
been feeling "cold"... cant really feel the love in myself... dunno whether it's cause of the trauma.. but nonetheless....
So, I went looking and searching for answers....
den i found out that....
... the LOvE tat will not die is ..... Bodhichitta!
Just nice that I came across a tibetan practice which called "Tonglen", which is a "take and give" practice. This allows one to take in the sufferings of other sentient beings into oneself and to release and give out relief and loving kindness and happiness to them back. In this case, the other sentient beings will feel better and more at ease if the practice is done properly.
then I try to do that... ......
Wa..... it's not tat easy yah... U can really feel the pain and suffering inside you again.. engulfing pain... ... ... I'm really scare that after a hard time of settling my mind for while, I would experience that suffering again... But I still try on and hope that I could manage it... However, after talking to some ppl and I realised that I need to be happy 1st myself and to start small... If not, will make me feel more terrible de....
so i pause for while and developing my faith.. (i'll go back to the practice when I'm more ready)
I feel remorse again recently!!
It's the worse kind of negative emotions in our sense...a hindrance in our practice...
...........Why would i feel remorse?.......................
Feeling sorry that I din do a good job? feeling sorry that I was not understanding enuff... not caring enuff... not positive enuff.... ?? (well, who'll care whether I'm feeling like this...)
Shifu said no need to feel that, need to strengthen our heart and mind and not to let those external things affect our mind-state...
The past had past, dun dwell on it, let it go... no point feeling bad thou it's a good effort to reflect...
...................
24th Oct..
posted by ~fei zi says...~ @ 5:30 PM
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